Not Meat Comics

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NOT MEATBen and Jerry's new flavor: Todd Akin's Legitimate Grapefrom the disturbed minds of the internet
Decided to try my hand at writin' a children's book.
It's an adventure story about this young girl with Lou Gehrig's Disease.
"ALS in Wonderland"
Aug 23, 2012 1:32:25 AMBy Orion QP

Score: 2.427297, View, Rate, Discuss

NOT MEATHow Mental Is My Illness?from the disturbed minds of the internet
Hey, Mom?
Have you seen the saucers?
You mean the ones hovering over the Johnson's place?
That's them. I was afraid I was having a reaction to my new meds.
Wait, those are your new meds?
Apr 3, 2014 4:11:35 PMBy the_masked_lizard

Score: 2.4077528, View, Rate, Discuss

NOT MEATAll that glitters is not Godzillafrom the disturbed minds of the internet
Well, my Christmas display is a real letdown this year.
Dang restraining order.
Dec 23, 2014 5:10:04 PMBy the_masked_lizard

Score: 2.402385, View, Rate, Discuss

NOT MEATHow to make friends and influence people by Ima Whackjobfrom the disturbed minds of the internet
And now, a few words from out-of-frame Mohammed.
I'd much rather have unflattering cartoons drawn about me all day long...
...than be adored at all by murderous imbeciles.
Amen brother!
Jan 8, 2015 5:13:23 PMBy the_masked_lizard

Score: 2.3958747, View, Rate, Discuss

NOT MEATVote for Kodos, you know you want to.from the disturbed minds of the internet
I really wanna vote for that Trump fella for President, but I just can't for a couple'a reasons.
First, that hair-do really creeps me out.
Second, is them two felony convictions.
Feb 1, 2016 3:03:20 PMBy the_masked_lizard

Score: 2.3844736, View, Rate, Discuss

NOT MEATdiplodocus in your crocus - part IIfrom the disturbed minds of the internet
Hillary for President!
I'm Republican.
But... you have a "Run, Hillary, Run" bumper sticker.
Yeah, on the *front* bumper.
Mar 29, 2007 8:25:51 AMBy Orion QP

Score: 2.2638712, View, Rate, Discuss

NOT MEAThow do you violate a rectum of such circumference?from the disturbed minds of the internet
Papa Moai, is there anything you can do to help me stop smoking?
I don't think so, Ted. I think without the pipe, you'd lose your center of balance and topple over backwards.
Please. Not being a stone statue gives me certain flexibility.
Looks like congratulations are in order.
I hate you, Papa Moai.
Jul 20, 2010 7:24:02 PMBy flatsperm

Score: 2.1422267, View, Rate, Discuss

NOT MEATthree-way with sarah palin in 2012from the disturbed minds of the internet
It's really troubling the level of partisanship this country has devolved into.
Americans really need to stop, think, and put aside their differences for the sake of the country.
In an effort to do our part, Barry and I have agreed to sing a song for you.
Let's karaoke this bizatch.
I seen you 'round for a long long time...
I really 'membered you when you drink my wine.
I seen you walkin' down in Chinatown...
You see me smilin' and then you frown.
I bring my money to the welfare line...
I see you standing in it every time.
The color of your skin don't matter to me...
As long as we can live in harmony.
I'd kinda like to be the President...
So I can show you how your money's spent.
Sometimes I don't speak too bright...
But yet I know what I'm talking about.
I know you're working for the CIA...
They wouldn't have you in the Mafia, oh...
Why can't we be friends? Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends? Why can't we be friends?
Nice song. I feel like we've bonded.
The lyrics were hilariously appropriate for us, as was the band.
But damn, your ears are HUGE.
Shut up, coke-head.
Dec 10, 2009 12:16:32 PMBy Orion QP

Score: 2.12553, View, Rate, Discuss

NOT MEATTom Swift and the Solar Death Panelsfrom the disturbed minds of the internet
Lost my job over at the women's clinic last week.
Turns out that "Singin' Mammograms" weren't such a big hit.
Nov 21, 2009 11:48:38 PMBy the_masked_lizard

Score: 2.032313, View, Rate, Discuss

NOT MEATrussian crackers: putin on the ritzfrom the disturbed minds of the internet
My cousin's astrological sign was cancer. Kinda ironic how she died.
She got eaten by a giant crab.
Feb 17, 2012 12:07:59 AMBy Orion QP

Score: 2.023949, View, Rate, Discuss

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